my people

"i heart you", said heart to the gut :P

You know that feeling when you meet people that totally just click with you? That you can be yourself around and not be judged, or be judged but still tolerated? That you might not even know that well yet, but you know you have so many things in common already, and totally hit it off?

Or when you just love the people you're surrounded with?

Reason #howeverhundred I'm so happy I chose medicine: my classmates and peers are some of the most amazing people I've ever met, or will ever meet, and though not everyone creates that same feeling felt above, there is a pretty darn high percentage of them that do. It is true that you may just meet some of your best friends in med school. 

Absolutely love the people I'm meeting, the people in my life, and the environment I'm in. Trust me, it wasn't always like this, and won't always be like this either. But man, does it feel good, and this moment deserves recognition in a post so that if I ever doubt or feel lonely, I am reminded that I really am not. Another reason I think this is possible is because I feel like I'm finally being honest with myself and who I am. Med school taught me the hard way that you can never please people, but hey, the lesson is learned. Also, I've been slowly coming out of my introvert shell--opening up a bit more, letting people in a bit more, being confident in who I am and getting away from the 'pleasing' mindset that has been in my head too long. It is amazingly liberating how good this feels. 

Thanks be to God for always being so amazing and providing :)  

dream

best. video. ever.

Utterly heartbreaking and powerful....wow.

afghani children of war-- a photo essay from the Atlantic

peace.

John 14:27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Philippians 4:4-9  Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

God, for one of the rare moments in my life so far, I feel so small and lost. I am so thankful that it has been rare, for I know it is not true for everyone. The foundation you've blessed me with slowly threatens to be torn away, and Lord, you are the only one I know to turn to. So please, please Lord, have your way and please grant us the peace only found in you through it.

Here I am, down on my knees again
Surrendering all, surrendering all

Find me here, Lord as You draw me near
Desperate for You, Desperate for You

I surrender

Drench my soul, As mercy and grace unfold
I hunger and thirst, I hunger and thirst

With arms stretched wide, I know You hear my cry
Speak to me now, Speak to me now

I surrender
I surrender
I wanna know You more
I wanna know You more
[x2]

Like a rushing wind, Jesus breathe within
Lord have Your way, Lord have Your way in me

Like a mighty storm, Stir within my soul
Lord have Your way, Lord have Your way in me

IPV...a huge issue

Found this in one of my email drafts: I've been meaning to post it up, but wanted to write a bit more...but then other things got in the way. I think this alone speaks for itself:

from NEJM --

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recently released a comprehensive report on the prevalence of sexual violence, stalking, and intimate-partner violence (IPV) in the United States.1 The report relays the alarming findings that 35.6% of women in this country are raped, assaulted, or stalked by intimate partners at some point during their lives, and approximately 6% experience these events in any given year. Men are also at risk for IPV victimization: 28.5% report having been victimized at some time during their lifetime, and 5% report victimization within the past year. But the forms and consequences of IPV experienced by women and men are not the same. Women are more than twice as likely as men to experience sexual coercion in their intimate relationships (17% vs. 8%) and are twice as likely to experience severe forms of physical assault by an intimate partner, such as being choked, hit with a fist, or kicked (24.3% vs. 13.8%). The most striking differences relate to the consequences: very few men (5.2%) report ever being fearful of their intimate partners, in contrast to 28.8% of women, and women are almost four times as likely as men to be injured by a partner (14.8% vs. 4.0%).

One THIRD of women. Aka, one in THREE. One in three women you will ever meet in your life either will have already experienced, or will experience, intimate partner violence.

if this was your mother, doc....

By HAIDER JAVED WARRAICH, M.D, from the NYT
 
I love this. Essentially:

Quote--

 "“Doc, give it to me straight. If this were your mother, what would you do?”

 While the patient-doctor interaction varies widely across cultures and continents, this question seems to be a universal constant...From a patient or family member’s perspective.... this question helps them make sense of the confusion, desolation and powerlessness that so often defines the hospital experience, which usually involves a full-on assault of numbers, jargon and ‘expert’ opinion... it makes sense that they would defer the choice to those who appear to know what they are doing. And by invoking the physician’s parent, they hope to humanize the physician and have a conversation with real stakes.

Yet I still find this question hard to answer. See...my answer to the question would be very different, as it would be for anyone, depending on which parent you asked me about.
  
So I have come to believe that the right answer to the question, “If this were your mother, doctor…” is: “Tell me more about your mother.” 

This response gives patients’ families the chance to think about their loved ones, about what they would value and what they would consider a good life, what they would think was worth fighting for if they were available to answer the question for themselves...It takes them away from a place where they feel solely responsible for the trajectory of their relative’s life to one where they simply communicate what the patient would want out of her life. We as physicians can then weigh in on whether it is reasonable to expect that to happen."

YES. Totally using this.

asian parent quotes #2

Me: Hey parents, so it turns out I'll need a car in MD for this year
Parents: Hmm alright. Use the van for now.
Me: Will you guys be ok? (we didn't have enough cars for everyone to drive to work, so my parents were going to carpool in the meantime o_O) Do you think it's time I bought my own car?
Parents: Just keep the van for now. We'll figure something out.

2 weeks later:
Mom: So...should I get the Tesla?
Me: WHAT?!
Mom: just kidding!

1 more week later:
Parents: We got an electric car! (Ford Focus!) It drives so well!
Me: So...what about the van?
Parents: The van is now yours. Enjoying the new ride :)

To put this in context, I now drive around a 2002 Toyota Sienna...total soccer mom status without the company ^__^' Gotta love my family. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have ANY vehicle to drive. But its sort of funny :P

photos within photos

THIS:
75-captivating-looking-into-the-past-pictures

So cool!

Also, quite pleased I actually got my butt out the door and on this trail! Went the opposite direction from the original plan, but it was a nice run regardless (click to expand)

update: didn't think it was possible, but woke up still with a runner's/endorphin high! definitely need to do this more often! :)

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson