for 2013

2012 will always be marked as the start of my clinical years...the first time we as medical students are not merely presented patients who are 'easy' and 'nice' and 'straightforward', but are allowed to see what truly goes on on the floors of the hospital--both the successes and the shortcomings. Feeling the real frustrations of the housestaff on complex cases, talking to people at their lowest possible points, physically, mentally and spiritually, and trying to understand the root cause of various pains were only a few windows into the multidimensional problems we still face in medicine, despite how far technology has come.

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I posted up an article long ago, from an oncologist in Malaysia. It was a reminder that we need to be humble in medicine, for both our patient's and our own sakes. We are so much smaller than we like to think;  as individuals we are week, but there is hope in a purpose that exists larger than this life, greater than our own. Thank you God for transforming my life, for allowing me to participate in a purpose that is greater than myself. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)

New Year's resolutions may last a year, two years, maybe several more, but the decision to surrender to Christ and his calling lasts...and TRANSFORMS..a lifetime.

I've come to the shocking realization that though 3rd year didn't seem to make my conscience less compassionate on the floors, it has definitely...unfortunately... made me a more callous, aloof, disinterested and just plain rude person to my life outside of medicine. I didn't realize my indifferent self until this winter break, when I was able to contrast it with incredible care in the people around me that has blessingly filled this time. Essentially, I have become a human being that blames her weariness for her inability to keep appointments, promises, and relationships. I have been taking things for granted and downgrading from being productive to being a huge vegetable whenever possible. This is nonexcusable. Yes I may be utterly exhausted from work, but Sharon, don't you see these people care about you?? If I make any 'new years resolutions', it's to stop being so careless and unreliable. You are better than that, self. Your professionalism isn't just limited to the hospital. Open your eyes to the effects of your actions and stop making excuses. Strive to be a decent human being--don't be late; warn people in advance; don't take actions for granted; BE ON TOP OF THINGS; stop procrastinating; PRIORITIZE, thank people whenever possible and above all, LOVE. People are worth it.

Thank you all for being there for me this past year. This is for all of you guys...I am so lucky to have such amazing friends. Here's to me being a better person for all of you.

God, give me the strength I don't have to be your light and carry out these promises. 

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20)